It’s been months since I last updated this site, and life, has been pretty hella crazy. I don’t even know where to begin, and the new year barely started. I’m really tired, of this dunya, and all of its calamities. But this is all just temporary, and a test from God, right? He tests the best soldiers with the toughest of plights. Day after day, it’s really a constant struggle, to keep my iman in check and to keep myself sane in this world. But, Allah knows, Allah knows. I’m usually a very positive and optimistic person (hence the blog name), but this post started off on a really sour note, aye? I guess it resonates with my current state of well-being – a sour plum of a person. I’ve been really bothered by the current state of the world, the media frenzies, humanity’s deteriorating state of being, etc. I am also currently nursing a fever by myself, which explains the whole mood of this post, I apologise! But I had to let this out.
But of course, these issues are all not new to the world. It’s just that when you get older you realise that the world wasn’t meant to be easy like you thought it would when you were a kid. Happily ever after is temporary in this dunya, and for some, or most people, it doesn’t exist. But that’s okay. Cause Allah promised that this world will be tough for the believers, and we’ll only attain full, eternal happiness in Jannah. In Shaa Allah.
On the brighter side of the note, I’ve been researching on how Muslims should behave when struck by illness, and it opened up my mind a lot. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this ill, and I was really bedridden and sulking and ranting (on twitter) on all the pain I was going through (or still am). But I remembered that one should not behave in such a manner when one is ill, and something a friend once mentioned just popped in my mind, which prompted me to do some research. You can read up more at http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/2231/
Prophet Muhammad said, “No misfortune or disease befalls a Muslim, no worry or grief or harm or distress – not even a thorn that pricks him – but God will expiate for some of his sins because of that.” [Sahih Muslim]
And Allah mentioned in the Qur’an “So verily, with the hardship, there is relief.” (Quran 94:5)
These two verses left a huge impact on me. Sometimes Allah takes away something dear to you, such as your health, to purify you. And if one follows His guidelines on how to overcome illness, with medication and prayer, one will attain relief better than ever. Being sick and weak makes us realise that we need Allah, as sometimes when we are healthy we may think that we are invincible and tend to forget Him, astaghfirullah. I know I am a sinner, and I believe this is one way for me to find my way back to God. Slowly, but surely. Alhamdulillah for all that Allah has given me, for I know now it’s for a greater good.
There’s a special kind of comfort in being in the state of tawakkal – where you put your trust in Allah. I’ve been so caught up with this world, all my problems, that I forget He is the Ultimate Healer, and the Ultimate Protector. I’ve been so cautious of what other people think of me, that I forget He is the one I need to please the most. I have so much to do to improve my spirituality, I’m so far behind. But I believe seeking knowledge and finding ways to spiritually uplift oneself is a constant effort. In Shaa Allah, despite my crazy worldly schedules, I will make time for Allah, for my religion and for my spiritual upbringing.
The next few months will be crazy, with Internship starting 9 days from now (yikes!). I’ll be interning at the Asian Civilisations Museum, alhamdulillah. I really don’t know what to expect, but I’ll come in with an open mind. This 6 months of Internship will determine whether I’m really cut out for the arts industry, as much as i’m passionate about it. I trust that whatever comes my way, Allah intended for it. Year 2 was hell but it’s crazy how I got through it. And Year 3 is beginning very very soon, which is scary but nonetheless exciting! Whatever happens upon graduation, would be another topic altogether.
On top of that, I have my duties as the President of the Malay Cultural Club in school that I have to handle at the same time. Masya Allah, I believe it was a blessing that people have entrusted me with this role. The only problem is that I’m the one who’s constantly doubting myself, my capabilities. But, I believe I’m here for a reason, to be a beacon of change. May Allah ease MCC’s affairs and may we reach greater heights with a pure purpose of upholding our heritage, In Shaa Allah. May our love for the arts & culture not be compromised.
Well now’s the time to pop in the pills (eergh i hate pills), do some chores (because a girl can never run away from that, right?) and head to bed. May I recover by tomorrow as a busy week awaits!